The one little trick I use to find love in every situation is this:
I picture an octopus, and I say to myself "there is only one of us here".
Marianne Williamson once described us all as spokes on a bicycle wheel. We all lead back to the same point of origin, but at the end of each spoke, we all look separate and different: we are man, woman, scientist, doctor, etc.
And Anita Moorjani said recently in a Hay House World Summit interview that we are all like fingers belonging to the same hand.
What all of this means is that in order to find love in a situation, we have to remember that we are no different from one another.
We have to remember our unity, our connection, if we truly want to find peace in our lives. All of us lead back to the same point of origin: so if you're pissed off at someone, you're really pissed off at yourself.
So to get back to the octopus talk. Here's what really gets me remembering that we're all connected:
I picture you and i like octopus legs, flailing around one giant octopus head.
This should help you with the idea of 'oneness' because if you think about it, octopus legs are all the same, and they're all connected. One octopus leg never looks at another octopus leg and says "we have nothing in common!"
All the octopus legs belong to one octopus, and all of us belong to the same divine origin (aka, octopus head).
I realize this is getting a little strange-sounding, but this is legitimately the image that came smack down into my head one day and brought love to a situation where I felt afraid. So that's why I'm sharing it with you.
The point is it's hard for us to find love in our lives because we have trouble finding that sweet connection with the people around us.
Our separation from one another will always lead us down the road of anger, fear, anxiety and upset, and it will always keep us divided (and partially insane).
So my trick to finding love in every situation has two parts:
The first part is the octopus.
I'm a leg, everyone else is a leg, and we all stem back to the same head. You are a part of me. You are no different.
Seen in this light, how can I ever be hurtful to another person? How can I ever disassociate with something that is a part of me?
As the Course in Miracles says, "No one dismisses something he considers part of himself."
Recognizing our connectedness makes me want to be kind and gentle with every person (tentacle!) that I meet.
The second part is a single sentence: there is only one of us here.
So if I'm in a situation where it's really hard to love, I remind myself that there is truly only one of us here.
There isn't a person over there, different from me, against me, being condescending towards me, etc.
There is only me, inside of another physical being, and there is me, inside of my own physical being.
This idea that we are all each other can get really interesting if you have some fun with it.
Taken one step further, if we are all one, it means you've accomplished quite a bit in the world.
You've built the skyscrapers in your home city.
You are a mother of eight.
You've been to the top of Mount Everest.
You've written an oscar-winning screenplay.
There's no room for jealousy or envy ever, because you've already accomplished so much through your connectedness with everyone else.
If all of your little octopus tentacles are swimming in a beautiful sea, how can you not also be there?
But I get it, this doesn't always work for everyone. I'm deep in the Course in Miracles mind training right now, so I'm all blissed out about everything being one and holy and loved.
But just know that once you do put on this perspective, it's difficult to be loveless towards other people.
It gets harder to judge a beggar, a rude person in a store, or even a friend for doing something you wouldn't...when you picture that person as you.
Our dividedness leads to madness.
To take this image further, and maybe to help you get a clearer idea of what some of this means, there's a lovely image that might help you remember that in any situation, you are always talking to yourself.
A blanket of stars across the night sky. All of the stars form an image of a man hunched over, with his chin in his hand, almost like he's staring out a window, thinking.
This image of one man, made up of a million little stars, is my image of oneness. We are the million little stars, and we make up a single, peaceful entity.
No separate beings, no daunting mountain of tasks to 'get us somewhere', no 'other people out there' ahead of us or doing better than us.
Just one of us. Just me. One man, sitting here, made out of stars.
And there's something so peaceful about that, something remarkably relaxing, about not feeling like everything is separate and mounting against you. That you are actually just one, breathing being, and when you look out your window, it's just you there.
And this is how I find the love in every situation I am in.
Because when you see yourself in everything, you're a lot kinder to everything.
If you're having trouble finding something to love about a situation, remember that in any situation, it's always you. Everything is one of your tentacles. (Feel free to substitute the word 'tentacles').
It may take some time to see this, and you might never see it. But it's something to think about.
If you want to start small today, grab one of these wallpapers below and save them to your phone. That way, each time you look at it, you're reminded of our shared connection with each other. :)