"Pain is the ego's peak experience." - Marianne Williamson
When you get right down to it, we can blame pretty much everything that's gone wrong in our lives on lies we've been telling ourselves.
For the past 2 years now I've been operating under a terrific lie that says "every time I drive, I will get into a horrific car accident".
And my track record will show a pretty lengthy list of lies that say things like "I'm the only one with this problem" and "everyone else gets to be happy but I have to suffer".
Think of a time when something went really wrong in your life, and I'm sure you can dig up a lie you told yourself to make that situation what it was. Something like "this person doesn't love me, it's because I'm unlovable" or "things aren't working out the way I want them to, I don't have what it takes".
It actually hurts my heart to write some of these things out, because I've thought them myself, and I know I'm not alone.
The things is, love is all there is. And when you start believing in something other than love, the world will do its best to prove you right.
If you've been telling yourself the bold-faced lie that you're anything but love, this lie will keep you from love any chance it gets.
It becomes a barrier to love, and any time you nurture these barriers, which are things like fear, anger, jealousy, or worry, you're actually denying love, and in so doing you're denying who you are, which is really uncomfortable.
(Headaches, heartaches, overall sadness).
Now before you start blaming yourself for all these barriers you've put up, don't. Love isn't about blame, and love is all you are. There's a little friend inside of you who enjoys this blame game though, and that's the ego.
Love is all you are at your core, but in this bodily form on earth, the ego likes to rule the roost, and it's the one that's scolding you right now for all the things you might be thinking about yourself.
But let's just put the ego on hold for now, and take a closer look at all these bold-faced lies we tell ourselves on a daily basis, so we can understand that that's all they are, and have a better life.
Bold-face lie #1: I am alone
You are never, ever alone, because you are connected to everything. Not to mention, you have love inside of you, which runs through everything you see, hear, feel, and think. You can't be apart from the love that created you, it's impossible. The next time you feel like you are alone, look at your hair and nails. Something is with you, growing that stuff.
bold-face lie #2: i can't change who i am or how i think
More like you are unwilling to change who you are and how you think. I know all about unwillingness. It's the same unwillingness I had to talk myself out of every time I got into a car and told myself there was no way I could drive myself home. You have to say out loud "I am willing to see this differently." You'll feel an instant shift in your perception, as a small part of you moves away from the stubbornness of staying stuck in one spot, and you quickly realize that's all that has been keeping you stuck in one spot - stubbornness.
bold-face lie #3: i am not good enough
There is no lack in you. There is so much overflowing love inside of you, you can't even see it. Author Matt Kahn says it's kind of like when you hold your hand really close to your face. You can't see your whole hand, because it's completely overtaking your whole vision - that's what love is like. It's so big, it's so you, that you can't even see it.
Saying that you are not smart enough, good enough, pretty enough, or anything enough, is a blatant disregard for everything that you are. There is no lack in love, there is no lack in you. If you're alive, if you're breathing in and out as a result of the miraculous universe that created you, you are a smashing success.
Bold-face lie #4: life is scary
Our illusions are scary. The way we treat each other when we're not operating from a source of love, is scary. But life is only as scary as we make it out to be. We have the choice to see fear or love in any situation, and surrendering to love when we feel afraid makes all the difference in the world. When we start nurturing ourselves and operating from our inner love source, life can be crazy beautiful, even with all the challenges. Especially with all the challenges.
Scary is good. Scary is your friend. Scary is a teacher. Scary shows you a little something about yourself that needs more love.
Bold-Face LIE #5: People are crazy
People are only crazy when we choose to see them as crazy. There's a line in the Course in Miracles that says something about how love is the ability to see the sanity behind the eyes of an insane person. That is the true sight that is required of us. It's too easy to look at someone we don't agree with and call them crazy. If we call other people crazy, we're really just admitting that our perceptions are crazy, because only crazy sees crazy. And we only see what we think about ourselves.
Bold-face Lie #6: There is no hope for me (and nothing helps)
The ego loves to see things as end-all be-all, but you come from the infinite. There is no end to you. Everything in front of you is temporary.
When you say there's no hope for you, you're choosing a loveless place. A place where nothing can be healed, and no light can be let in. This is a place with no willingness to see things differently, and willingness is crucial for your growth. And your growth is especially stunted if you dismiss all of your miracles as 'not helping'. Sometimes miracles take the form you least expect, and it's up to you to see it for what it is!
Bold-face lie #7: I hate
It's easy to say this one. I'm guilty of it for little things especially. (i.e., I hate this stupid show!) But there is no hate where you come from, and it's especially poisonous to the mind, body, and spirit, when it's directed at another person. It's one of the easiest lies (and traps) to fall into, and once you're there, the only person you're hurting is yourself. Every attack on another person is an attack on yourself.
Bold-face lie #8: I can't do this (resisting the present)
You're capable of doing anything and everything. Anything you THINK you can't do, is just that - a thought.
Have you ever tried giving in to the moment? Have you ever tried seeing what it feels like to just surrender to whatever it is you feel is an attack, and feel the moment for what it is?
I'll let you in on a terrific secret - it's peaceful to surrender. Resistance is the most painful experience, because you're not letting the natural occurrence of things naturally occur. You're preventing the entire universe from wanting to express itself through you, with insane mind games and aversions.
Going through a tough time? Go through a tough time. Feeling like you have to vomit? Vomit. Let your feelings guide you through, they're there for a reason.
Bold-face lie #9: I am afraid
Being afraid is a lie because fear is an illusion. I'm not saying to never be afraid (I've had my share of times), but I'm saying to understand that when it's there, know that it's not a real thing. You are a child of God filled with light through and through. There is no alternative in you.
Bold-face lie #10: I'll believe it when I see it
Seeing in this three-dimensional world is overrated. Don't trust what your physical eyes show you, they're showing you an illusion (a pretty clever one at that). Not to say the world around us isn't important, but don't base your beliefs on the things your physical eyes are showing you. They will disappoint you every time.
See with your other eye instead, the one that sees beyond what your physical eyes show you, the one that sees the good, and the love, in everyone. This will bring out the love inside of them, so your physical eyes can see it too.
Bold-face lie #11: I am independent, I don't need anyone
Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to be independent. You need to love, and feel your connectedness with the world. The further out you go into that isolating world of independence, the further you separate yourself from the whole, and it's really freakin' depressing to feel separate from the whole. It's obviously fine to go out and live by yourself physically, but don't ever lose your connection with the world, or think that you ever have to do this life thing by yourself.
Bold-face lie #12: I am different
It's nice to think that we are all unique and special, and on the outside yes, we are all beautifully diverse, but on the inside, we are all the same.
Different can be painful sometimes. If you're a creator, always trying to do things differently is hard, and when you think other people are different from you in a way that's better than you, it's especially sad. We are all love on the inside, and when one of us succeeds, we all succeed, because nothing separates us. Recognizing our sameness is what will help us, more than dwelling on our differences.
Bold-face lie #13: I am loved by no one
This is the biggest, fattest, trickiest lie of them all. I wish I could scoop you up in my arms every time you felt unloved and tell you that you're absolutely loved, and there is never a moment you are not.
Even when we're at our worst, when our minds eat up every loving thought, when we can't even get out of bed because we feel so horribly mental, we're swathed in love, like every baby you've ever seen.
If you walk away not remembering a single line from this post, please remember that every time you think an unlovable thought about yourself, you are lying to yourself, and you are attacking the sweet, rosy-cheeked baby self that you are. Don't attack the baby. Close out this window today and do what you need to do, but don't attack the baby.
A lot of these lies might be part of your normal thought patterns and self-talk, and that's okay. I'm guilty of a lot of them as well, and I love that our minds have the power to twist us up into these wildly unloving monsters. I find it intriguing.
But know this, if they have the power to twist us up into wildly unloving monsters, they also have the power to twist us up into wildly loving light workers, bringing peace and love to everyone we meet.
Remember that no matter how convincing your mind can be in getting you to believe these lies, it's also capable of convincing you of the opposite.
It's capable of convincing you that you're something more than ego psycho babble. It's capable of delivering you the sweetest, kindest downloads from the love that resides within you.
And one of those downloads is right below this post.
I've compiled a magical list of TRUTHS about you. While the above post is an entire list of bold-face lies, it's time to face the truth of who and what we are.
We are not what we think, we are not our minds, and we are not at the effect of our ego's attacks.
If you can review the above list at least once a day, maybe some of these truths will actually start to sink in, so you can have some semblance of control when these lies attack you from all sides.