It's amazing what silence can offer. I woke up the other day feeling out of sorts, and two minutes of sitting in silence helped. It's like a recalibration. Sometimes I hate asking myself what's wrong, or why I'm feeling moody. It leads to guesses like maybe it's because I had a long day yesterday or maybe it's because I'm tired or maybe it's because I have a lot on my plate.
Which only leads to me feeling annoyed when I can't pinpoint it, and also annoyed because I can't do anything about it. And when I feel this way, I'll try and do unhealthy things to make me feel better. Like eat junk food, or drink alcohol, or sit and binge watch a show. But none of this addresses the problem, leaving me feel jittery and uncomfortable.
Sitting in silence was hard at first. I kept trying to tell myself peaceful, meditative thoughts when I tried it a few months ago. Which made me more anxious somehow, because I wasn't able to reach a blissful, relaxed state. So that's when I thought screw it, I'm just going to empty my mind and be quiet. And not think of anything. I was tired of trying. I was tired of thinking! And that helped. A lot.
So the other day when I felt out of sorts, that's what I did. I was feeling moody and down for no reason that I could pin point. I didn't want to take anything out on anyone else, so after Adam left to go pick up some coffee, I sat up in bed, and just sat in silence. It was so, so nice not to have to worry or think about anything. It gave my ego a break.
My other favorite thing to do now is yoga. It's like a bodily form of meditation. I've always loved it, but never got too into it because I thought it was too expensive and time consuming. I wanted something free and easy, so naturally the universe responded lovingly, as it does, with yoga videos on YouTube by a girl named Adriene. It's officially called Yoga With Adriene.
I've watched yoga videos on YouTube before, but I really love yoga with Adriene. She's funny, and she understands that not everyone can do a head stand. She also makes yoga understandable, and fun. I'm doing her 30 days of Yoga series (every other day LOL) but I always look forward to it. It doesn't take much, and I always feel so incredible afterwards. Incredibly relaxed, focused, and at ease. I think the best part about it is I don't put any pressure on myself to be perfect while doing it. I just do what feels good, as Adriene says, and I don't think too much about whether I'm doing it right. I just feel the flow and move in the direction that feels comfortable. Free and easy. Who doesn't love free and easy.
I also can't even tell you how amazing it is to have what Dr. Robert Holden calls a 'daily spiritual practice'. It's something he asks a lot of people on his Hay House Radio show, Shift Happens. Do you have a daily spiritual practice? he asks. I tried for a long time to figure out what my daily spiritual practice was, but then I stopped trying and did what came naturally--reading. And journaling.
Each day I've been reading a paragraph or so from the book A Course in Miracles. And then I'll journal about it for a few minutes, sometimes making up a prayer to go along with it for the day. I'm also slowly working on the lessons for it.
If you're not familiar with it, A Course in Miracles is a pretty thick text written by a woman named Helen Schucman in the 1970s. From what I understand of it so far, Schucman wrote it based upon an inner voice she heard, which she took to be Jesus Christ. Not only is it a book, but it's also a workbook for students with lessons, and it also comes with a manual for teachers.
So far, it is blowing my mind. A lot of books have since been written on The Course, and I believe everyone stumbles upon it at the right time in their life. For me, it was at The Last Bookstore last weekend in Downtown LA. It was the last copy! It's called the 'foundation for inner peace' on the cover, and I'm beginning to see why.
Having this daily spiritual practice is like taking your vitamins every day. It doesn't help you heal all at once, but every day you start feeling better and better. It makes me wonder how I got through life without having some kind of faith. It's so heartbreakingly lonely, and sickly, without it. And since I've embraced all things metaphysical lately, all good things keep showing up in every nook and cranny of my life, and I almost want to cry because I'm so grateful for it all.
Also, I totally bought the Hay House World Summit audio lessons. I'm not in a position to be making big purchases right now, but damned if it's not the best purchase I've ever made! No buyer's remorse here. In fact I can't remember being more excited about buying anything in my life. I can't stop thinking about it and can't wait to dive in. It's not for sale anymore unfortunately, but I'll be blogging about everything I learn, and sharing it with you!
Happy Tuesday, and have a beautiful week! Here's a nice affirmation to take with you:
I am a yes person, living in a yes world, being responded to by a yes universe. --Louise Hay (the one and only)