People don't expect you to love yourself.
The truth is, a lot of people in the world feel better knowing that you don't. It's easier for them to take advantage of you, treat you like shit, and put you in a subservient position.
Obviously, we are more than this, and that's the point of today's post.
When you don't love yourself, every day, you're unconsciously opening yourself up to sabotage from other people.
Take Jane for example.
Let's say I had a friend named Jane who loved to make fun of people. Jane, of course, made fun of people because she was unhappy with herself, but more on that later.
Jane made fun of people, and it gave her great pleasure.
One day, she openly makes fun of me to my face. This hurts my feelings, but I don't say anything, because I don't want to make her upset.
So I'm putting up with her sabotage, because it's easier than telling her the truth about how it makes me feel, and having her get upset.
This means I am more worried about her getting upset, and possibly hating me, than telling her she's hurting my feelings by sabotaging me every day.
This is a very simple and obvious example of how we allow other people to treat us badly. And why do we allow it?
Because we don't feel worthy enough to say something.
We don't want other people to hate us, or think that we're mean (even though other people are mean to us).
But by not saying anything, I am effectively letting Jane go on thinking it's okay to hurt me, because I've done nothing to stop it.
And Jane gets much pleasure from this. In fact, you're making it easier on her.
This is what I mean by people not expecting us to love ourselves. Because if we loved ourselves, we wouldn't be letting other people get away with not facing the fact that they don't love themselves.
And you know what else? We're not only sabotaging ourselves by not saying anything to the Janes of the world, but we are getting in the way of Jane's own self-growth by letting her continue to torture the people around her!
It's all a bunch of horrible, vicious cycling around and around.
But this is where the self-love steps in like a fresh glass of cold, bubbly champagne.
Let's say for the sake of this story that I made self-love a priority in my life, and I told Jane that I could no longer tolerate her bull shit, and if she wanted to remain friends, she would need to treat me with respect.
This is all fine and well, and Jane might get pretty upset about this, but since I've said how I felt, I'm feeling good about it and I'm okay with her being upset about this for awhile, because it means I'm no longer subjecting myself to torture.
The good news is, there is a very real possibility that Jane, hearing this, will want to change.
Maybe she really enjoys my company.
Maybe she has no other friends!
And maybe my words have made her take a long hard look at herself, and she's realized there are some problems in her own life that she needs to confront, in order to be around the people she loves to be around.
By loving myself enough to confront her with how she makes me feel, I have just saved her life.
I have just helped her, in a very odd way, return to her own love, and face her own demons.
My self-love, has just helped Jane love herself.
THIS is the main reason why you should give a flyin' hoot about self-love. Because when you love yourself, you make space for other people to love themselves.
How beautiful is that?
I know this doesn't apply to every situation, and I know it's not easy to have these conversations, and that sometimes, even when you do, the Jane in your situation might not be as receptive to change.
But it's a start. (And I love fresh starts!)
When we start to love ourselves, we come to realize that WE are capable of making adjustments in our lives for our own betterment. And in fact we deserve our own betterment.
We feel so much better having finally been honest with ourselves and the world, about who we REALLY are.
And what's more, self-love has the power to make you less judgmental of yourself, which makes you become less judgmental of other people.
It's kind of like, when you love yourself, you put on these love goggles, and when you have these on, you start seeing everyone else as love too.
And people are very receptive to your love.
Love is the most craved thing on this planet, and when you give it to people, they become the most remarkably beautiful (and more loveable) human beings.
This is why self-love will change the world.
Imagine if we loved ourselves enough to put an end to some of the torture that we see around us, and in our own lives? Imagine the world benefiting from something that's also benefiting you?